Fruit flies have infested my apartment. And not just in the kitchen. In the bathroom, too. They're disgusting. And almost everywhere.

Here are the precautions I have already taken: I have a little compost pail with filters which has helped (except for the ones that manage to make inside the pail). So I have no organic matter in the garbage. About once a week, I pour a baking soda-vinegar mix or a non-toxic, enzyme product down my kitchen drain to make sure there's no leftover food gunk down there either. I also no longer keep fruit out on the counter–it's all in the fridge. So what gives? Help!

Well great, all of that is a fantastic start! You should also consider giving your kitchen a hard cleaning. The problem is that while, yes, you need to make changes so your home isn't welcoming to fruit flies you sort of forgot the part where you have to actually kill the ones you've already taken in.

So kill them we will! The best part is that we're going kill them with crafts.

What you need in your life is a fruit fly trap. Or traps, depending on how bad things are. There are three basic traps:

1. A bowl, jar or glass filled with liquid fruit fly "lure"

2. A bowl, jar or glass filled with liquid fruit fly "lure" topped with plastic wrap with a few puncture wounds and secured with a rubber band

3. A bowl, jar or glass filled with liquid fruit fly "lure" with an inverted paper cone inserted into it (to make things even more fun, the fine folks at re-nest made a downloadable fruit fly gravestone-cum-cone trap!)

The idea here is that the "lure" will attract the fruit flies and then they will drown. Ha ha stupid fruit flies. All kinds of things work as a lure: Wine, beer, cider vinegar, fruit juice, etc. Use what you've got! Mix in some dish soap if you want to make things more toxic for them! They apparently hate the smell of basil – finally, an excuse to splurge on that Mrs. Meyer's soap you've been wanting.

Fun fact: The anal glands of fruit flies are stored in their wings! If I have to know it, you have to know it.

The above originally appeared on The Hairpin on 21 July 2011